My Heart Will Go On
by Auua Ytjoml
Summary: Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on. Once more you open the door and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on. Companion piece to 'The Last Rose'.


"Every night in my dreams I see her, feel her… what's wrong with me?!"  
"Why nothing Tarrant. I do believe you're in love."

She never comes and I wait and still she never comes but I know she's still out there somewhere. I feel it in my heart that she goes on and it's only a matter of time before she goes here, to my arms.

When I see her again, from far across the field I know it is her. That she hasn't forgotten. That something had kept her… possibly against her will… certainly against her heart.

The space between us narrows down to none as I sweep her into my arms. "You've come to tell us you've gone on?" I asked her.  
"No, Hatta. I'm here to stay."

It is mere weeks we have. Mere weeks to show her my love for her. Mere weeks for me to open up. For her to mend my broken heart. Mere weeks of hope and love and life.

I hold her in my arms one last time as she fades away. I sense, though I cannot see it, her open the last door and step through. Just before she crosses the threshold she smiles and whispers "don't give up on life Hatta. Never give up Love again. I'll be waiting for you." Then she's gone, gone where she can't return. Gone where she's forbidden me to follow.

As we lay her in the boat that will take her body away, I can feel tears streaming down my face. I've kept my promise; my heart is still whole somehow. I can still love. I kiss her brow one last time but I know she isn't there anymore. The closest I can find her is my heart.

"Love can touch us one time,  
and last for a life time,  
and never let go till we're gone."  
I mumble the words Alice had sang when I asked her to marry me. My lips quirk up momentarily as I remember how her joy could not be contained in simple words – no, she must burst out in song.

Sometimes I can feel Love slipping away from me. Sometimes I feel as if I can't possibly keep my heart whole when she is gone. But, when those times come I feel a warming in my heart, as if she's sending me a kiss and a hug. I remember the times I have to hold on to, and I realize that the only way I could truly stop loving is if I stopped loving her… and that will never happen.

I act as a living testament to love without loss. I try to show them that love is never really gone. That it lasts for a lifetime and never leaves the world till both are gone. Some pity me… but some understand.

Some of those I knew as children have decided to grow up and have children of their own now. My heart aches when I wander into the 'might have been's and 'should have been's' that might have/should have happened if it weren't for Revenge taken all those years ago on my… on Her.

Sometimes I feel so cold now. As if all the warmth in the world had been stolen away… though the sun still shines brightly. Ches tells me I'm looking grey. I thing he knows something I do not. I wish he'd tell me.

One day there is, suddenly, a change inside me. After years apart I can feel her. Not just in my heart but tugging at my hands. I open my eyes and stand up… like I haven't been able to do for months… and there she is. I want to crush her in an embrace but all I can do is drink her in. Drink in the warmth of her love that hovers around me. She smiles and looks over her shoulder. I can see a door in the middle of the room where none has ever been before. It is blacker than night at the same time that it is pure white and all the colors in between seem to hover at the edges of my vision.

"It's time to go, dear Hatta."

I look back towards my bed and see myself lying there. Mally and her brood are sitting to one side. I can see her first grandchild in the arms of her husband. On my other side I can see Thackery and the Tweedles. Ches is curled up at my side as if trying to impart some manner of warmth into me. I know it won't be long before they realize I'm gone.

Alice and I step through the doorway and there's nothing to fear now. I mustn't try and try to hold my heart together each day. She does that just by being there. I know that somewhere in the near future live others who I've never forgotten. Family. But just now I'm content with holding her close and knowing that we will stay forever this way and I know that my heart will go on.

A breeze sweeps across the room as if twas a draft from a closing door yet no door had been closed … or opened. Ches presses his back more tightly into his friend's side and it is then he notices with sorrow that the Hatter is no longer breathing.

The friends make their way outside and the breeze seems to follow them, gathering strength to sweep across the entire land. Each of the old Host, the Summer Host, though they would not call themselves that, feel the breeze as an invitation. In each one of them across underland something changes, comes over them: a feeling of restlessness yet of peace. A call.

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A/N This was inspired by the song "My Heart will Go On". It can be taken as a companion piece to 'The Last Rose of Summer'. In my mind Tarrant's death marks the beginning of the end of the Summer of Underland and the Summer Host.

Please review! Tell me what you did and didn't like. Should I commemorate the passing of some of our other underlandian favorites?


End file.
